Looking back, there were at least a couple of occasions when I gave up a very good opportunities for myself. One was in college when I was nominated for a prestigious student award. I made it through the screening process and I was waiting for the final interview. I can clearly remember the day I stepped out from my literature (or something like that because we were talking about books & stories) class to attend the final interview. When I got to the venue, I found out that it was moved to a different date. Fast forward to that day… I was in the thesis room with my group mates working on our thesis (what else?!). It was probably just an hour before the scheduled interview and I felt like this interview is adding unnecessary pressure to me, when I should be focusing on my thesis. I gave the organizers a call and told them I was withdrawing. Yup, just like that. And I felt so much better after. Why? In the first place, this award (as nice as it is) isn’t really in my bucket list or my goals and aspirations. Second, my priority was to graduate and I was really busy (probably cramming) that time to complete our thesis.
The other time was when I was offered a really nice role in my previous company. I was being asked to take over what my boss was doing because she was moving to a different role. It’s a good opportunity because you get to work with various stakeholders from different levels, and of course learn new things along the way. But the job isn’t what I was interested in. I’m not after being in the limelight and I was in no rush to move up the so-called corporate ladder.
Today, I face another dilemma. Infront of me is a VERY attractive and competitive job opportunity (offer) not only in terms of compensation but also in terms of growth, learning and experience. Everything seems perfect… except for one thing. It’s not the career path I want to take. I went through all the interviews trying to see and feel if this is something that I want to do. I was clear when I expressed my interest and career goals (different from what the job is about). To be honest, I am tempted… very very tempted to take this offer. I mean it’s here right infront of me. It’s a job that pays well. It’s a job that I know I can do well. I tried to see all the good in it and think of how this can benefit me, my career and my family. But deep inside me, it just doesn’t feel right. I have never been so sure and so passionate about what I want to pursue that it hurts. I know it will break my heart to let go of this offer, but it will break my heart even more to let go of my true career goal.
The first two stories of letting go isn’t as tough as what I’m facing now. I didn’t even shed a tear during those times. It was easier to let go. Why? Because I knew I still had something… I had my safety net. In college, I still had my degree even without that award. At work, I still had a job to keep and I had salary anyway. But what options do I have now? I don’t have a regular job. I am still in the process of investing to build this career.
What is my safety net?
What do I have?
You know what I have? I have a family who fully supports me. I have a heart burning with passion to make this dream come true. And most importantly, I have a God who gives me strength, keeps me going and provides for all my needs. That is more than enough.