How to Use Rejection to your Advantage

Rejection is a hard pill to swallow, regardless of whether you’ve been confident all your life or you’ve just started rebuilding your confidence after going through challenges.

And it hurts even more when so much is at stake.

“Why not me?”, is a question I’d ask myself during this time. As I grew older and I’d like to think, wiser, I learned to shift my resentment to curiosity and excitement. Instead, I ask, “I wonder what’s in store for me?”

In this article, I shared 3 ways you can use rejection to your advantage through reframing the experience and shifting our thoughts and actions.

Rejection tells you what is not aligned

We can think of life as an ongoing matchmaking process, whether you’re finding your next job or client, finding your dream home or searching for a suitable business or life partner.

When I was working in the corporate world, there was a point when I badly wanted to move to a different role. That time, I was already getting sick (with occasional trips to the emergency room) and feeling unexcited about going to work. I applied to jobs within the company and outside. And yes, I got a series of rejections.

I must admit that I was in a rush that time. I badly wanted and needed to move. And so all these rejections took a toll on me. But being able to spend time on unbiased evaluation of these rejections helped me realize that it wouldn’t have worked out anyway.

❎ One job was actually more stressful than the current one I had that time, and it would’ve caused me more trips to the ER.

❎ One job required me to do extensive reporting and analytics, which although I am capable of doing, I didn’t really enjoy.

❎ Another job though seemed promising and very much aligned with my skills and interests offers very little flexibility, which I’ve proven through the years, is something that I value.

Always be grounded on who you are and what you value. Awareness of these will help you spot any misalignment in your actions and decisions.

Rejection prepares you for what is to come

When I decided to boost my LinkedIn presence and grow my business, I found myself meeting potential clients and submitting proposals on a regular basis. If we’ve worked together, you would know how I take to heart my clients’ needs and carefully design something that would bring them closer to their goals and more. It usually takes me hours of research, consultations and writing to put together a proposal for a big project.

It took several rejections (ghosting included) before I got my streak of client wins. Looking back, I have nothing but gratitude for all the rejections because through these, I was able to better understand the market dynamics, continuously enhance my program offerings, and establish a strong foundation for future growth. This has been helpful not only to me, but also to the Coaches I mentor in our Build Your Coaching Career (BYCC) Community.

What you’re going through right now could be your training ground for the bigger things ahead.

Rejection gives you the space to rethink

If not for rejection, you’d probably be continuing whatever you’re doing, thinking that it’s right, even if it’s not yielding any results.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results.*

*This is commonly attributed to Albert Einstein though there is no proof that he did say this. Source: Google Arts and Culture

One of my clients reported to me in exact figures the number of applications she made and the number of rejections she received. Getting these rejections made her pause and rethink her strategy. As we sat together, we non-judgmentally evaluated all the rejections, and examined the data, trends and possibilities. After that, she took away actionable steps to move forward.

Rejection is a form of feedback. Feedback helps us look into what’s working and what can be done better.

What do you choose to focus on?

If you ask me what’s my success rate at getting clients or getting a job, I’d say 95%. That’s a high number, you might say. Well, that’s because I only choose what to count. Looking back, not all rejections have been bad for me as a person or my career. I could only count with the fingers of one hand the rejections that have left scars. If the rejection pointed me to a better direction, I consider it a win. Thus, the high number.

It’s really a matter of what we choose to focus on. Sometimes, we make our conclusions even before the story is complete. It’s like judging a cake’s taste even before it’s placed in the oven to bake. Who likes to eat raw cake anyway?

If you still haven’t figured out what realignment or redirection your rejection is pointing to, try looking within you. And ask yourself, “Is this story complete yet? Or am I judging raw cake?”