I’ve attended conference calls (now called virtual meetings) since my very first job. We would dial into an AT&T conference line and meet with our colleagues from all over the world. It’s a skill to recognize voices and figure out who said what.
Today, virtual meetings have somehow become the norm. Calendar invites automatically come with a meeting link and most of my coaching sessions are now done online. The convenience of virtual meetings makes it easy for us to prefer them over in-person meetings. I mean, let’s be real. I get more meetings and work done in a day when I don’t need to move from one place to another.
But there’s something about in-person events that makes it special… even to introverts like me.
Human beings are wired to connect.
According to the Social Baseline Theory (SBT) by psychologist James A. Coan, our brains evolved with the expectation of social connection. Supportive relationships thus make our cognitive and physical loads lighter – making challenges more bearable and life more bright and sunny.
In his book, Social, scientist Matthew Lieberman said that our need to connect is as fundamental as our need for food and water.
If you’re feeling a bit out of sync, stressed, or tired, a dose of some in-person connection might be what you need.
Connection is good for your career growth and development
“If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.” – Jack Welch
Learning isn’t just limited to attending conferences, seminars or workshops. You can learn with and from others even over coffee or lunch conversations.
Doing volunteer work and networking are also effective strategies to boost your career.
Connecting can be a fun and comforting
When surrounded by the right people whom you share common interests with, you’ll find that hanging out with them is not just fun but can also be a source of comfort.
Whenever I accompany my son to his football training, I make it a self-imposed rule not to bring my work laptop with me. I use the time to clock in my steps for the day, and also have chit chats with other parents, whether on football, school or food.
In our small Build Your Coaching Career (BYCC) Program for Coaches and Consultants Community where we’ve recently launched a new program for members, most have shared the need to have other people to hold them accountable, toss ideas with or just to stay sane. It’s good to feel you’re not alone in your journey.
Three’s a crowd. Choose well.
“But being with people drains my social battery. I don’t really get along with them.”
I get you. I’ve done dozens and dozens of debrief sessions with clients on the DISC Behavioral Assessment and the Birkman Assessment, and I have never seen a report that says they do not want or need connection at all.
We all need a dose of connection in different amounts and variations. For example, I can do a 3 to 4 day workshop with a big group of people and be energized by it, but will need to unplug and disconnect at the end of each 8-hour session.
This is why it’s also important to be aware of your own preferences and be mindful of your intentions for the in-person personal, social or professional events you join.
And always remember that whatever event you choose to join, you own your experience. Whether you have the best or the worst time depends on what you make out of it.
So, which event are you joining next?
Share your recommendations below and who knows, we might bump into each other.
No Special tools needed. You can start today, and do it consistently to make a difference. Coach Kurly de Guzman is a Career and Leadership Coach and one of a LinkedIn’s Top Voice based in the Philippines. She continuously seeks ways to help coaches, leaders and teams thrive through her newsletter, leadership and career development workshops as well as group and 1:1 coaching session for clients.
To work with Kurly, send an email to hello@kurlydeguzman.com or book an exploratory call to discuss your organization’s needs here
