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The Key to Better Career and Performance Conversations? Listen.

Typically, towards the end of the calendar or fiscal year, organizations go through an annual tradition of performance evaluation.

Yep, you read it right, tradition.

Sadly, many leaders and employees alike only see this process as a requirement to comply with to get evaluated and hopefully get a pay raise or a promotion.

Unfortunately though, according to HR Research Institute’s The State of Performance Management 2020, only 26% of employees say their managers are good at having conversations about performance, and according to Gallup, “only 2 in 10 employees strongly agree that their performance is managed in a way that motivates them to do outstanding work.”

Somewhere between the ideals of having a robust performance management process  and actually getting the results it’s intended for, there is a gap that leaves many organizations wondering what could have gone wrong.

Maybe the solution isn’t a high-tech tool or an overly complex process, but a shift in the way managers conduct career and performance conversations.

What if leaders listened better and listened more?

There are many good reads on the importance of listening such as Adam Bryant and Kevin Sharer’s article in Harvard Business Review,  “Are you really listening?”  So in this edition of Career Agility Newsletter, allow me to break down the how to’s of listening based on my experience as a coach.

How do you really listen?

Before becoming a coach, I underestimated the power of listening. How hard could it be, right? All you need to do is to shut your mouth, and while the other person speaks, start formulating a response in your head. Or in some cases, you might already have an answer even before the person actually speaks.

I know because I’ve been there. I know because having coached and mentored leaders who are learning how to coach, I’ve seen how we tend to have a let-me-fix-it-because- I’ve-been-there mindset.

Listening is an underrated, yet highly critical skill leaders must have for their own development, and to enable others to grow and develop in their careers too.

Remove distractions

When in video calls, especially when your camera is turned off, the temptation to open your email, your phone, or your favorite social media or shopping app is real. You’d hear the sound of typing on the keyboard or messaging apps beeping. If your camera is on and someone is wearing glasses, you’d even see the reflection of what’s on their screen (and no, it’s not related to your meeting!).

Listening actively involves being fully present to the person you’re talking to, whether they see you or not. So make sure that you remove potential sources of distractions when you have your employee conversations.

  • Close all applications not relevant to your conversation
  • Make sure your phone is on silent mode.
  • Have a clock nearby which you can see without having to touch or hold it (Hint: Your phone is not a clock)
  • Notify the people around you (if you’re working from home) that you’ll be in a meeting

Withhold judgment and assumptions

Let’s face it, you already have preconceived notions of employees in your team – there’s the noisy one, the joker, the life of the party, the achiever, the steady Eddy, and so on. And yes, they would have their own perceptions of you too!

  • Before your career conversation, give yourself time to pause to detach yourself from the previous activity, and breathe out all assumptions you think might not serve the conversation.
  • Remind yourself that the person you are about to talk to is “naturally creative, resourceful and whole” (credits to the Co-Active Coaching Model) no matter how good or bad their performance was last year or last week
  • When you find yourself forming judgments in your head, tell yourself, “I don’t know this yet for sure. Maybe I should ask.”
  • Pause before you respond. Silence is okay.

Be curious

What if you had in you the same curiosity as a child? Why is the earth round? Why can’t you have ice cream when you have a cold? What makes us float in water?

What if you had in you the same curiosity you had when you were hiring your employees? Tell me about an accomplishment you’re most proud of. What motivates you at work? What made you stay in your company for 12 years? How do you manage stress?

(Hint: You can even ask these questions in your next career conversation)

Curiosity opens many doors of possibilities for you, your employees and your organization. The late Shunryu Suzuki wrote in his book, “Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind”,

“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s mind there are a few.”

Here are some ways you can be curious:

  • When your experiences and expertise are taking over your mindspace, tell yourself, “Maybe there is another way that I don’t know yet” or “What might I learn here?”
  • Be around kids – observe how they move, think and act with so much curiosity and wonder
  • When your  employee shares with you an idea, resist the urge to shoot it down right away. You can say,  “Tell me more!” and listen to what they have to say.

Create accountability

Employees take better ownership of actions when it comes from them. Here are things you can say to wrap up the conversation and create accountability.

  • Based on what we’ve talked about, what can be your next steps?
  • How are you going to do things differently this time?
  • How can I support you?
  • When may I check in with you on this?
  • What would you like to update me on next time we meet?

You can start today

Ann Betz, a fellow coach who spoke about neuroscience in the recent ICF Converge conference, shared that “when we feel we are being heard and understood, it increases the connective neural fibers in our brains that are crucial for bringing together disparate areas for increased cognitive function.”

In simple terms, it decreases our tendency to fight or flight and opens us up more to learning. So yes, brain science tells us that listening does make a difference.

Improving the way you do your career and performance conversations can make employees feel valued, motivated and lead to better results. This will not only mean retention, but a natural way of creating employee ambassadors, who take pride in your organization and employer brand, which could help you win in the looming talent war.

No special tools needed. You can start today, and do it consistently to make a difference. Coach Kurly de Guzman is a Career and Leadership Coach and one of LinkedIn’s Top Voices based in the Philippines. She continuously seeks ways to add value to leaders and their teams through her newsletter, leadership and career development workshops as well as group and 1:1 coaching sessions for clients.

To work with Kurly, send an email to hello@kurlydeguzman.com or book an exploratory call to discuss your organization’s needs here.

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