Many leaders come to me and tell me, “I’m stuck!”
Some feel stagnant in their careers, feeling like they’ve hit a dead end, or are simply not happy.
Some have almost given up on their job search, lose their confidence and get desperate to grab the next job offer that comes along (regardless of what it is).
Other leaders feel hopeless amidst the challenges their team is facing, thinking that targets are impossible, or the team is just not good enough.
Or maybe you’re stuck in debt, in your yoyo-dieting, or in other habits you’ve been trying to break.
I get you.
I’ve been stuck many times too. I have also coached many leaders and mid-career professionals who feel the same way.
If you’re ready to finally get yourself unstuck and get a dose of tough reality, go on and read. If you’re not ready, it’s okay. Bookmark this article and save it for another day.
Let’s begin.
Here are the top 3 reasons I’ve observed in people (including myself) who are stuck in their leadership or career.
You choose not to see.
Acceptance is the first step to change.
We’re so smart and strategic that we find creative ways to (over)explain or rationalize why we are stuck, stagnant or simply not getting what we want. We blame the economy, the pandemic, the busyness of life, our boss, and so on.
During coaching sessions, it feels almost magical when I see my clients’ eyes widen or twinkle when they realize that the answers they are looking for are just right in front of them. Then they realize that they’re blinded or imprisoned by their past mistakes, are too focused on what’s not working, or choose to look away and deny the truth or the reality.
The answers to help you move forward could be obvious, but perhaps you are choosing not to see them.
Read this article on 5 Things to Notice When You’re Stuck in Your Career for more tips.
You choose not to change or challenge
You hide in the guise of contentment.
Before finally realizing that I needed help in taking care of my physical well-being, I thought I was doing the right thing by accepting my fate. I thought that maybe as a mother in her 40’s with so many responsibilities and stressors, perhaps I just have to be content that I won’t be as fit as I was in my teenage years. And this, coupled with denial, is what kept me obese and unhealthy.
I think there is a thin line between contentment and mediocrity. Contentment, to me, is a positive feeling. It comes with a feeling of gratitude and joy. On the other hand, mediocrity to me feels more heavy, like you’re settling for something less than what you honestly know you deserve and can do. It feels like surrendering without trying.
Whether it’s contentment or mediocrity, is up to you to assess. I know you know the truth deep inside.
You choose scarcity.
I recently posted about my realization that the scarcity mindset can keep you stuck.
This mindset creates unnecessary fear in us, that there isn’t enough of what we want or what we need. And so we hold on tight to whatever we already have.
I’ve had clients who hold on to jobs they hate, because they fear that great jobs are scarce and they might end up unemployed or underemployed.
I’ve met leaders who stick to old and safe ways, to play it safe, instead of fostering growth and innovation.
There are business owners or consultants who say yes to every project and opportunity, even when they’ve already got a full load, and then end up underdelivering on commitments.
What could change for you, if you choose to see abundance instead?
What’s keeping YOU stuck?
Are you denying what’s obvious?
Are you choosing what’s convenient and saying you’re content?
Are you fearing loss, lack or risk?
There could be many other reasons that’s keeping you stuck. But these three, from experience, are the most common I’ve encountered. And I think it’s worth saying out loud. Because when we say it and bring it to our awareness, it could be that powerful spark that can move you.
Are you ready to get going?
Let me know if you want to work together one-on-one.
No Special tools needed. You can start today, and do it consistently to make a difference. Coach Kurly de Guzman is a Career and Leadership Coach and one of a LinkedIn’s Top Voice based in the Philippines. She continuously seeks ways to help coaches, leaders and teams thrive through her newsletter, leadership and career development workshops as well as group and 1:1 coaching session for clients.
